How To Be The Owner Of Your Feelings.

 

The ability to experience and express emotions is more important than what you perceive.

Emotions play an important role in your reactions, just like the reaction you feel in a situation. As you communicate with them, you may find important knowledge that will help you:

How To Be The Owner Of Your Feelings.

Decision making

Relationship success

Daily conversation

Self-defense

While emotions play a supportive role in your daily life, they can also be damaged when you lose control over your emotional health and relationships between people.

Vicky Botnick, a therapist in Tarzana, California, explains that any emotion - joy, happiness, or even others that you generally think are positive - can intensify to a level that is difficult to control. Goes.

However, with a little practice, you can regain control. Two 2010 studies suggest that having good emotional control skills is linked to well-being. In addition, it has found another possible link between these skills and financial success, so doing some work before that can really pay off.

Here are some tips to get you started.

1. Look at the impact of your emotions

Serious emotions are not all bad.

“Emotions make our lives exciting, unique and alive,” Botnick said. "Strong emotions indicate that we receive life to the fullest, not suppressing our natural responses."

Sometimes it is completely normal to experience emotional stress - when something miraculous happens, when something terrible happens, when you feel lost.

So, how do you know if there is a problem?

Feelings that cross the arm on a regular basis may include:

Relationship or friendship conflict

Difficulty relating to others

Trouble at work or school

The desire to use materials to help manage your emotions

Physical or emotional irritations

Take some time to learn how your uncontrolled emotions are affecting your daily life. This makes it easier to identify problem areas (and track your success).

2. Aim for control, not repression

You can not control your emotions with the dial (although it's so easy!) But imagine for a second that you can handle emotions this way.

You should not leave them to run to the maximum at all times. You don’t even want to turn them off completely.

When you suppress or suppress feelings, you are preventing them from experiencing and expressing feelings. It can occur consciously (suppressing) or unconsciously (suppressing).

Contributes to mental and physical health symptoms, including:

Anxiety

Depression

Sleep problems

Muscle tension and pain

Difficulty in managing stress

Substance abuse

When learning to control emotions, make sure you are not pushing them on the rug. Healthy emotional expression involves finding some balance between high feelings and emotions.

3. Identify what you feel

Taking some time to check in with yourself about your mood can help you regain control.

Suppose you have been looking for someone for a few months. You tried to plan a date last week, but they said they didn’t have time. Yesterday, "I want to see you soon. Can you meet me this week?"

They finally responded, more than a day later: "Can't. Be busy."

You are suddenly very upset. Without pausing to think, you throw your phone across the room, hit your trash can and tap your desk while tapping your thumb.

Interrupt yourself by asking:

What do I feel now? (Depression, confusion, anger)

What made me feel that way? (He brushed me off without any explanation.)

Is there a different explanation for the situation that makes sense? (Perhaps they are stressed, ill, or dealing with things they do not feel comfortable explaining. They may plan to explain more when possible.)

What do I want to do about these feelings? (Shout out, take away my frustration by throwing objects, send some obscene message.)

Is there a better way to deal with them? (Ask if everything is alright. Ask when they are empty. Go for a walk or run.)

By exploring possible alternatives, you are reframing your thoughts, which can help you modify your first serious reaction.

It may take some time to get used to this reaction. With practice, your mind becomes easier (and more effective) to go through these steps.

4. Identify your feelings - everything

If you are trying to be better at managing emotions, you can try to reduce your emotions within yourself.

When you are hyperventilated after receiving the good news or fall to the floor screaming and crying when you can not find your keys, "stay calm" or "it's not a big deal, so do not be afraid to do."

But that does not validate your experience. This is a very big thing for you.

Identifying feelings when it comes to them can help you feel more comfortable with them. Increasing your comfort around intense emotions will make you feel them more fully without reacting in excessive, unhelpful ways.

Accepting feelings can lead to greater life satisfaction and less mental health symptoms. What’s more, people who find their emotions helpful can lead to a higher level of happiness.

5. Keep a mood journal

Writing (or typing) your feelings and the reactions that trigger them can help you uncover any disruptive patterns.

Sometimes, it is enough to bring feelings back mentally through your thoughts. Getting your feelings on paper can help you consider them more deeply.

It can also help you identify feelings of difficulty at work or family conflicts that contribute to difficult feelings of control. Identifying specific triggers makes it possible to find ways to manage them more productively.

Journaling offers many benefits when you do it on a daily basis. Keep your journal with you and write down when strong feelings or emotions occur. Triggers and try to observe your reaction.

If your response does not help, use your journal to explore more useful possibilities for the future.

6. Take a deep breath

Whether you are ridiculously happy or too angry to speak, much has to be said for the power of deep breathing.

Slow down and pay attention to your breathing so that the feelings do not go away (and remember, that is not the goal).

However, deep breathing exercises can help you maintain yourself and take a step back from the first intense emotions and intense reactions you want to avoid.

The next time you think emotions are starting to come under control:

Breathe slowly. Deep breaths come from the diaphragm, not from the chest. It helps to visualize your breath rising from the depths of your stomach.

Hold it, hold your breath for three breaths, and then take a slow breath.

Consider a mantra. Some people find it helpful to repeat the mantra "I am calm" or "I am comfortable".

7. Know when to express yourself

Everything has time and place, including intense emotions. For example, uncontrolled crying when losing a loved one is a very common reaction. Screaming on his pillow, even hitting him, can help you release some anger and stress after the dump.

However, in other situations some restraint is required. No matter how frustrated you are, shouting at your boss for unfair disciplinary action will not help.

Taking care of your surroundings and situation can help you discover feelings and when you want to sit with them.

8. Give yourself some space

According to Botanic, getting some distance from intense emotions can help make sure you are responding to them appropriately.

This distance is physical, for example, leave a disturbing situation. But it can also create some mental distance by distracting yourself.

Even if you do not want to completely block or prevent emotions, it is not harmful to distract yourself until you are in a good place to deal with them. Make sure you come back to them. Healthy disruptions are only temporary.

Try:

Walking

Watch a funny video

Talking to a loved one

Spend a few minutes with your pet

9. Try meditation

If you are already practicing meditation, this is one of your ways to deal with high emotions.

Meditation can help you increase your awareness of all feelings and experiences. When you meditate, you are teaching yourself to sit with those feelings, without judging yourself or trying to change or overcome them.

As mentioned above, learning to accept all of your emotions can make it easier to control your emotions. Meditation can help you improve those acceptance skills. It also gives you other benefits like rest and good sleep.

Our guide to different types of meditation can help you get started.

10. Stay on top of stress

When you are under a lot of stress, it becomes more difficult to manage your emotions. Even people who can control their emotions well in general may struggle during times of high stress and tension.

Reducing stress, or finding more helpful ways to manage it, can help you manage your emotions more.

Mindfulness exercises like meditation can also help with stress. They may not get rid of it, but they can make life easier.

Other healthy ways to deal with stress are:

Getting enough sleep

Spending time talking (and laughing) with friends

Do the work

Spending time in nature

Make time for relaxation and hobbies

11. Talk to a therapist

If your feelings are overwhelming, it may be time for professional support.

Prolonged or persistent emotional disorders and mood swings are associated with certain mental health conditions, including borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. The problem in controlling emotions can also be related to trauma, family problems or other underlying concerns, Botnik explained.

How To Be The Owner Of Your Feelings.